The fear of loss

What is yours that you fear of losing? So big and deep this question is, but deeper is the answer.  We are all scared of losing something or someone. The fear of loss cuts across all hearts. In a certain way, it has become something natural in human beings.

We fear of losing our loved ones, our favourite bag, our car, our house, our most preferred watch, our personal computer and mobile phone, and so forth. But if you stop for a second and give this subject a wider thought, you will understand that we do not fear of losing things or people, we fear of losing the “gain” that our relationship with the things and people provides us. For example, Mr. Ram has had a red car for the past ten years and he was so attached to it. One day, he met an accident and his red car got entirely damaged. At first instance, we might think that Mr. Ram has lost his car, which is not deniable but if we dig deeper, we will accept that Mr. Ram has in fact lost the comfort that his red car used to provide him. In other words, Mr. Ram will no more have the same comfort that his red car used to offer him when it was in good condition. His relationship with the car was so strong because he was winning something out of it: comfort.

In the same way, we are attached to things and people because we are getting something out of each relationship. The shocking truth is that this applies to our families and friends too. This universal rule leaves no one untouched. Fools are those who continue to get attached to things and people; wise are those who seek detachment in every relationship. By detaching ourselves from things and people, we eliminate the greed to obtain something from every relationship. We are able to live without the things and people, when they are not around because we cease to be dependant on them and on what the relationship with them offers.

Detachment is a discipline, to be practiced and embraced.


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