The dynamics of my life taught me some noteworthy lessons lately. I buried some secrets deep inside for years – I have loved. The darkness of this world is so terrifying that I had to nurture this love in the light of my heart. I loved quietly through my fears and tears. It took me years to muster a resolute courage and to eventually confess my deepest truth to a world filled of lies. I presumed I would be respected for my honesty rather than being judged for loving, but the contrary happened. I learned hence to bury some pains in my heart, to wipe my tears and to confide to none but the universe. I walked out with a heart filled with scars – each telling a profound story. I thought I was fighting the whole world to protect my emotions but when I stopped and questioned myself, I understood that I was at war with myself. I needed a trustworthy friend to listen to the echoes of my mind and the silent screams of my heart; not necessarily to solve the quandaries of my life. I traveled outside and inside; looking for a glimmer of hope.
I found none until I gazed at the grandeur of the wide blue sky. It stole something from me as I stared deeper at it; and that was my agony. I conversed for hours with the universe and to my surprise, it would listen and even answer. I found some answers though I am yet to find more. From nurturing fears to unleashing love, I was becoming something every day throughout this battle – something greater than myself. Have you ever come across a tree laden with ripe fruits? It does not submit to the inner and outer changes so easily; to a point that it even agrees to bend low. Nevertheless, it dies every day knowing that its fruits shall eventually fall and gradually vanish. The little deaths that consume the tree ever day somehow shape it to become something sturdier. I die every day too but my deaths make me; they don’t break me. I die knowing that I hide nothing within. I die knowing that I have spoken my truth. I die knowing that I am pure in spirit. I therefore die fulfilled and thus, I become something greater than myself.